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Dealing with a difficult ex-spouse

On Behalf of | Jan 31, 2017 | Family Law |

In an ideal world, all divorces in Raleigh would be peaceful and amicable events. Unfortunately, some people have former spouses that seem to live to make their lives miserable, which can make finalizing the situation much harder and longer than it should be. If you have an ex-spouse who makes the process difficult, learning how to avoid confrontations may help to keep conflicts and negative feelings to a minimum.

Respect each other

With the change in your relationship comes a chance to develop respect for your ex. You may not be able to agree with everything he or she does and says, but you can still offer the same dignity and respect you want to be extended to you. This includes honoring privacy and personal boundaries. If you know there are words or situations that trigger negative reactions, try to steer clear of them.


Forgiveness is a powerful tool that can help improve your relationship with your former partner. Emotional baggage can keep you from enjoying a healthy and productive relationship with your ex, which is especially important if you have kids together. If you are struggling with unresolved feelings that have lingered from your marriage, working through them may provide as much of a benefit to you as it does to your ex. By learning to let go of any toxic and negative feelings you harbor, those emotions are less likely to intrude and affect your future dealings with your former partner. If there are extremely difficult feelings that you cannot seem to get over on your own, you may want to consider counseling.

Keep it business-like

You may find that it is beneficial for you to manage your encounters with your former partner in a business-like manner, keeping all communication professional and excluding emotion. This may keep you and your ex from venturing into the wrong territory in your conversations and interactions. If you are co-parenting, keep everything centered on your kids. When you and your former partner focus on working together, your actions and decisions may be more easily made with your children’s best interests in mind.

Plan it out

Before you meet and speak with your ex, you should plan your approach. You can then use this as a roadmap to guide your interactions with your former partner so that you can stay on track and avoid arguments.

Regardless of why you and your former partner are separating, your actions can affect how easy or difficult the split is. If you are experiencing great difficulty in getting your spouse to cooperate, whether in custody, property division or coming to a final agreement, you may want to speak to an attorney to learn about your options.


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